WHEN LESS IS MORE

WHEN "LESS" IS "MORE"
by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

There is a strange addiction in our society today. I call it the addiction to more...more...more. Sound familiar? More clothes. Bigger houses. Fancier cars. Exhausting! You may think that excessive accumulation is a characteristic only of the rich. Not so! I have visited many homes of rich and poor alike, and I am struck by the excess of "things" that seem to be everywhere. I would suggest that our need to accumulate more...more...more is not improving our lives; rather it is bringing the quality of our lives down...down...down.
If you think about it, our lives would be so much easier if we would focus on getting rid of things instead of accumulating things. By definition, our addiction to "more" creates a need to work so hard that true enjoyment of life becomes impossible. There is no time to stop and smell the proverbial roses. We become prisoners of responsibility. We struggle to relax. We work so hard on the upkeep of our lives that we have little time for pleasure and play. Our self-created burdens are very heavy, indeed. As I say in End the Struggle and Dance with Life...
"The clutter in our lives makes us feel as though we are going through life carrying a watermelon and an overloaded suitcase! It's time to drop these tremendous weights and learn how to live in the freedom that simplicity allows."
Let me introduce you to three new words to help you break your addiction to more...more...more. Those three words are simply..."LESS...LESS...LESS." Right now say these powerful words to yourself over and over again..."LESS...LESS...LESS." As you keep repeating these words, I predict that you will soon feel a sense of release...of freedom. Breathing space at last!
I speak from experience. When Mark and I sold our large house, we moved into a very small apartment just to give us time to find ourselves a new house more suited to our needs. An acquaintance bought our excess furniture thus saving us the hassle of putting it all in storage. We figured we would start fresh and buy new furniture when we found our new house. Strangely as I watched our much loved "stuff" being carted away, instead of feeling sadness, it was as though a big load was being lifted from our lives. It was a wonderful introduction to the land of less...less...less. And it felt great.
We took a 6 month lease on our little apartment with the idea of soon finding our new home. Another surprise! We fell in love...love...love with our little space. As I write this, we've now been here, not 6 months, but 6 years! And neither one of us has any desire to move! It's cozy and romantic and comfortable. It is also easy...easy...easy. A perfect example of less being more.
And something else: When we moved into our little apartment, I had to get rid of so many clothes since closet space was very limited, and once again, I felt a sense of freedom. Why did I need all those clothes to begin with? I didn't! Some of the clothes I gave away I hadn't worn in years! And because I realize that I need less clothes, I am saving so much money. Again, less is turning out to be so much more.
Yes, we are certainly blessed when we have "enough." But today as I look around this big wide wonderful world of ours, enough doesn't seem to be enough! We live with a poverty mentality. It's hard to imagine that even wealthy people can have an intense poverty mentality, but many do! I call them "the affluent poor." Or we are competitive with others. We act as though we are fearful we will fall behind in our ability to outdo everyone else! I see it all around me.
It's interesting that we all put a premium on "filling" our lives. But I think so many of us have missed the point. It makes for a much richer life to let go of the external trappings that smother us and instead "fill" our lives with those riches that take us to a higher place. And what are those riches? Beautiful times with friends and family, relaxing time to read books and experiment with life, fulfilling time to contribute to the world, and so on. It is not about filling our lives with "stuff", but filling our lives with those experiences that bring us joy. I'm left with the conclusion that...raising our standard of living is truly about accumulating less and enjoying more!
One way we can break our addiction to more...more...more is to begin giving all the excess "stuff" away. In the beginning, it may be difficult letting go. Especially letting go of that belt you haven't worn for 10 years! (Trust me on this one!) To help you feel better about giving your stuff away, I suggest that you donate your excess clothes and dishes and furniture and books...and so on...to others who truly do need what is truly excessive and unnecessary in your life. As you do this, you realize that you have made someone else's life a little easier. You become a source of abundance to them. You make a difference in this world. You become the "giver" instead of the "taker." You ultimately feel lighter and fresher and better able to see what you really need. This is what I imagine "spring cleaning" is truly about.
So look around and start giving things away. Make a game out of it and discard as many unnecessary "weights" as you can in your home and office. My rule is this: Use and enjoy that which enriches your life; let go of that which is just excess baggage. You will be surprised at how much excess baggage you will be giving away! And, importantly, you will be joyful knowing how you have enriched the lives of others.
And something very...very...very important to think about: You will be doing so much to help the survival of the planet as you consume less...less...less. Wow! That should be enough of a grand motivator to get us all going!
I suggest that starting today...together...we all begin dropping " the watermelon and the overloaded suitcase" and enter the world of less...less...less. We'll be helping the world in so many ways. Whew! I can hear the sighs of relief coming to me from all over the world! Amazing!

GETTING OUT OF YOURSELF TO FIND MORE OF YOURSELF

GETTING OUT OF YOURSELF TO FIND MORE OF YOURSELF
by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

There are times on our Journey through life that we feel lost, unloved, helpless, and defeated. Until we find the huge amount of power and love that lives within us, these times happen much too frequently. What do we do when we find ourselves in such an unhappy space?

Some of us escape into the land of danger and defeat. We "get out of ourselves" by drinking too much, or taking drugs, or feeling sorry for ourselves, or complaining, or doing whatever stops us from doing what is truly necessary...and that is...taking responsibility for our experience of life. And we look out at the world with envy imagining that everyone else out has been given a more fulfilling life than we have. Not good!

There are much healthier and happier alternatives. One way we can take responsibility for our experience of life is to get out of ourselves and join those who are having a fulfilling life. We get out of ourselves in a way that is self-enhancing and incredibly satisfying. How do we do that? The answer is so simple, yet so huge in its force: We become part of a volunteer force whose sole purpose is to help others less fortunate than ourselves. We help feed and clothe the poor, we help build houses for those who have no homes, we visit the homes for the aged, we read to children in hospitals...and all manner of beautiful things. I call that becoming part of the dream.

As many of you know, I used to be Executive Director of a health facility in New York City which provided all sorts of health, educational, and recreational activities to the poor. It was a facility that relied on the help, not only of a paid staff, but a large number of volunteers. Those beautiful beings provided money, services, time, energy, love, caring and all manner of loving things to help those less fortunate then themselves.

Understand that not all of these volunteers were the moneyed of the community. I met "poor helping poor", people giving to their community in ways that touched the Soul. They taught me so much about what makes life worth living. And what makes life worth living is not only about finding love, caring, and all good things. No, it's also about giving love, caring, and all good things. It's not that getting isn't wonderful...it is. And learning how to take with gratitude is a sign of an open heart and brings us much joy. But giving is more than a joy in life, it is the way we find our self-confidence and sense of worth. And in the end, that is what we are all yearning for during those times when our lives seem so empty and unhappy. (Read those last two sentences again!)

Every day I saw firemen, policemen, society men and women, doctors, community members, college students showing up to dance with the needy, make them laugh, pass out lunches, wash dishes, contribute to the programming, and whatever else was needed. Why did they come? To help others, yes. But they also discovered the incredible joy and self-respect inherent in the act of giving. They discovered the immense power and love they held within themselves to reach out and help the world in their own special way.

One of the people who regularly volunteered was my daughter, Leslie. Happily, she learned at an early age what it meant to give of herself. She stuffed envelopes, washed dishes, and served coffee with the best of them. And she carried this learning into adulthood. One of her ways of getting out of herself has been to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, a wonderful organization that builds houses for the poor. I have pictures of her hammering nails on the roof of a house-in-progress. Imagine her feeling of joy and healthy pride when the keys to that finally-completed house were handed over to a family who never before had a decent place in which to live. Leslie has never stopped her practice of getting out of herself to find more of herself.

Ely, a friend of mine who had a stroke, was able to feel blessed and abundant every time he volunteered, wheelchair and all, to help cook Thanksgiving dinner in a restaurant that was serving free meals for the homeless. He knows he counts, stroke and all. And during the rest of the year, he helps in many other uplifting ways. People who get the most out of volunteering, are those who make it a regular part of their lives...not just a Holiday special. To know we count each day of our lives is the greatest blessing we can ever realize.

Why does volunteering makes you feel so good about yourself? The answer is that it takes you out of your Lower Self...the weakest part of who you are...and elevates you to the best of who you are...the part of you that is loving, powerful and abundant...your Higher Self. And when you find your way to the best of who you are, your life is transformed.

So here is what I suggest for you: Any time you feel yourself in a depressed and unhappy state, immediately find some way to help the community. Get up and get out (literally or figuratively) and help the world. And as you make helping others a part of your everyday life, those feelings of depression and unhappiness will appear less and less and less...and feelings of joy, gratitude, and all good things will appear more and more and more. It works every time.

See, I told you the answer was simple, but HUGE in its force.