GETTING OUT OF YOURSELF TO FIND MORE OF YOURSELF

GETTING OUT OF YOURSELF TO FIND MORE OF YOURSELF
by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

There are times on our Journey through life that we feel lost, unloved, helpless, and defeated. Until we find the huge amount of power and love that lives within us, these times happen much too frequently. What do we do when we find ourselves in such an unhappy space?

Some of us escape into the land of danger and defeat. We "get out of ourselves" by drinking too much, or taking drugs, or feeling sorry for ourselves, or complaining, or doing whatever stops us from doing what is truly necessary...and that is...taking responsibility for our experience of life. And we look out at the world with envy imagining that everyone else out has been given a more fulfilling life than we have. Not good!

There are much healthier and happier alternatives. One way we can take responsibility for our experience of life is to get out of ourselves and join those who are having a fulfilling life. We get out of ourselves in a way that is self-enhancing and incredibly satisfying. How do we do that? The answer is so simple, yet so huge in its force: We become part of a volunteer force whose sole purpose is to help others less fortunate than ourselves. We help feed and clothe the poor, we help build houses for those who have no homes, we visit the homes for the aged, we read to children in hospitals...and all manner of beautiful things. I call that becoming part of the dream.

As many of you know, I used to be Executive Director of a health facility in New York City which provided all sorts of health, educational, and recreational activities to the poor. It was a facility that relied on the help, not only of a paid staff, but a large number of volunteers. Those beautiful beings provided money, services, time, energy, love, caring and all manner of loving things to help those less fortunate then themselves.

Understand that not all of these volunteers were the moneyed of the community. I met "poor helping poor", people giving to their community in ways that touched the Soul. They taught me so much about what makes life worth living. And what makes life worth living is not only about finding love, caring, and all good things. No, it's also about giving love, caring, and all good things. It's not that getting isn't wonderful...it is. And learning how to take with gratitude is a sign of an open heart and brings us much joy. But giving is more than a joy in life, it is the way we find our self-confidence and sense of worth. And in the end, that is what we are all yearning for during those times when our lives seem so empty and unhappy. (Read those last two sentences again!)

Every day I saw firemen, policemen, society men and women, doctors, community members, college students showing up to dance with the needy, make them laugh, pass out lunches, wash dishes, contribute to the programming, and whatever else was needed. Why did they come? To help others, yes. But they also discovered the incredible joy and self-respect inherent in the act of giving. They discovered the immense power and love they held within themselves to reach out and help the world in their own special way.

One of the people who regularly volunteered was my daughter, Leslie. Happily, she learned at an early age what it meant to give of herself. She stuffed envelopes, washed dishes, and served coffee with the best of them. And she carried this learning into adulthood. One of her ways of getting out of herself has been to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, a wonderful organization that builds houses for the poor. I have pictures of her hammering nails on the roof of a house-in-progress. Imagine her feeling of joy and healthy pride when the keys to that finally-completed house were handed over to a family who never before had a decent place in which to live. Leslie has never stopped her practice of getting out of herself to find more of herself.

Ely, a friend of mine who had a stroke, was able to feel blessed and abundant every time he volunteered, wheelchair and all, to help cook Thanksgiving dinner in a restaurant that was serving free meals for the homeless. He knows he counts, stroke and all. And during the rest of the year, he helps in many other uplifting ways. People who get the most out of volunteering, are those who make it a regular part of their lives...not just a Holiday special. To know we count each day of our lives is the greatest blessing we can ever realize.

Why does volunteering makes you feel so good about yourself? The answer is that it takes you out of your Lower Self...the weakest part of who you are...and elevates you to the best of who you are...the part of you that is loving, powerful and abundant...your Higher Self. And when you find your way to the best of who you are, your life is transformed.

So here is what I suggest for you: Any time you feel yourself in a depressed and unhappy state, immediately find some way to help the community. Get up and get out (literally or figuratively) and help the world. And as you make helping others a part of your everyday life, those feelings of depression and unhappiness will appear less and less and less...and feelings of joy, gratitude, and all good things will appear more and more and more. It works every time.

See, I told you the answer was simple, but HUGE in its force.